Caregivers

WPA in the Community

March 1, 2019 Awareness, Caregivers, Education

Assisted living communities are prepared to care for older adults, but they aren’t always familiar with Parkinson disease. When a new resident has Parkinson’s, they turn to WPA for help. Jeremy Otte, WPA’s director of outreach & education, is happy to connect with these facilities and spend time training their staff to recognize some of the unique challenges presented by Parkinson’s.

“We are a RCAC assisted living facility,” said Bonnie Cohn, RN, campus administrator for ProHealth Care Regency Senior Communities. “We see many residents that move in with very minimal effects of Parkinson’s and see how quickly their disease can progress.”

Regency Senior Communities recently invited Jeremy to help educate their staff. He visited their campuses in New Berlin, Muskego, and Brookfield, and gave five presentations for employees on different shifts.

“It was wonderful for him to be here to explain the different stages and what to watch for. It helped them to understand the reasons that a resident may have ‘freezing’ episodes, difficulty getting their thoughts across, or slow mobility,” Bonnie told us.

Jeremy also discussed the importance of administering medication at a certain time, helping staff to understand the impact medication can have on a resident’s quality of life. She was grateful that he helped the staff understand how to assist a resident who is have these issues.

If you are interested in having Jeremy speak at your community or agency, call our office at 414-312-6990.

 

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Top Senior Scams to be on the Lookout For

February 1, 2019 Awareness, Caregivers, Education, Life

Eras Senior Network of Waukesha County coordinates S.T.O.P. – an awareness program focusing on frauds and scams aimed at older adults.

In 2014, the Federal Trade Commission created the Pass it ON campaign aimed at encouraging people to share vital information about scams. The FTC encourages you to not only share gifts and food during the holidays, but also tips about scams targeting older adults.

Since 2016, Eras Senior Network has given 47 presentations to over 1,250 seniors and their caregivers about common scams targeting the senior population. Through our research and conversations with seniors who have experienced interactions with scam artists, we’ve collected a list of popular senior scams that we hope you’ll share with those you love.

Grandparent Scam: A scam artist calls a senior and says “Hi Grandma, it’s me!” Oftentimes the senior assumes they’re speaking to their grandchild and won’t even ask for a name. Sometimes, the scam artist pretends to be crying, which distorts their voice, making it easier for the senior to believe it could be their grandchild. The scammer will then tell the senior they are in some sort of trouble and will need money wired to them – and begs their “grandparent” not to tell their “parents”. To avoid this scam, ask the caller specific questions like their name, address, or something only your true grandchild would know – and never wire money or send gift cards through the internet!

Telemarketing “Yes” Scam: Telemarketing scam artists use a simple response to steal from you. In this scam, a senior will receive a call and be asked if they can hear the caller. The natural response is to say “yes”. Unfortunately, scam artists can record this response and use it to fraudulently authorize charges via the telephone, according to the Federal Communications Commission. The best way to avoid this is by screening your calls and only answering numbers you recognize, or finding another way to answer their question without saying the word “yes.”

Medicare Card Scams: As you may know, new Medicare cards without the individual’s social security number began being mailed in April 2018. With this comes the risk for Medicare related scams as predicted by the Better Business Bureau. Scam artists may ask you for your social security number or a payment in order to receive your card. Your new Medicare card will be sent to you automatically at no charge – you DO NOT need to do anything or pay anything for your new Medicare card to be mailed to you.

Spear Phishing: Spear phishing is an email or electronic communications scam targeted towards a specific individual, organization or business. Emails that look like they are from a friend or family member can actually be attempts to steal data. Before clicking on the message, hover your mouse (without clicking) above the sender’s email address to see if it is from the person you know. Phone calls may showing caller identification from a known person can also be spear phishing attempts. Once you realize the caller isn’t your friend or family member, hang up without saying anything!

Sharing what you know about frauds and scams may be the best gift you can give someone. If you feel like you have been a victim of a fraud or scam, contact your local police department by calling their non-emergency number.

Kathy Gale is Executive Director, Eras Senior Network, Inc. and a member of the Wisconsin Attorney General’s Task Force on Elder Abuse. S.T.O.P. Senior Frauds and Scams is brought to you by Eras through a grant from the Wisconsin Consumer Antifraud Fund at the Greater Milwaukee Foundation and the United Way of Greater Milwaukee and Waukesha County. More information about Eras Senior Network, Inc. can be found at www.ErasWaukesha.org.

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For Caregivers: Moving in with Family? Issues to Consider

February 1, 2019 Caregivers, Life

Too often, the decision to move into a family member’s home is made when a crisis develops or as a last resort. Sudden illness or injury strikes and the family is left without a plan for long-term care for their loved one. Experts suggest that all families discuss the possibility of the need for long-term care, and the possibility of family members living together as a solution to the daily care situation. The following are some items to discuss with all members of the family before making such a move.

Accessibility

Is the home “elder friendly”? It is necessary to review the setup of the home, in terms of stairs, additional bedrooms, bathrooms and general safety issues. If home modifications are needed, they should be completed prior to the move.

Care

How much care will the relative require? Daytime supervision, medication management, meal preparation and entertainment are just a few examples of important issues to consider. Assess the level of assistance needed now and in the foreseeable future. If the relative is in poor health, who will be in charge of providing the care? Will other family members share in the caregiving duties? Establish basic rules and a care routine to help prevent conflicts and caregiver burnout.

Emotions

How do family members get along with each other? How are conflicts dealt with? All families have their share of problems and each family handles them differently. The loss of independence is difficult for anyone and reactions or behavior change is to be expected. It is important to be able to talk about how everyone is feeling and encourage the relative to continue with a life of their own. Communication skills, including active listening, are necessary in handling and resolving conflicts successfully.

Finances

How will the change in household expenses be handled? An increase in family size usually means an increase in family expenses. Will the relative contribute? Are there other family members who can help with financial support?

Responsibilities

What is expected of the relative? What responsibilities will they have for care of the home? If there is a separate apartment, will everyone dine together? What about family outings – will the relative always be included?

Avoid the feeling that the situation is permanent.

Start with a limited “trial period,” then review the situation. Once the move has been made to live together, it is very important for all family members to have continual open and honest communication with each other on all matters. Don’t hold in your feelings – both positive and negative feelings need to be shared.

If the health condition of the relative changes, and additional care is needed, it is crucial for the family to review the daily plan. If the situation requires help outside the family, there are a number of alternatives that the family and the relative can explore together. Make sure that the relative is included in decision making, if they are able. Some other options for care include: daily home health aide or homemaker care, which would also provide respite relief for family caregivers, home based community care programs, friends and neighbors, church outreach programs and dividing the care responsibilities among the family by rotating care, with the relative going to others’ homes, or by allowing other relatives to come into the home to provide the daily care.

Families who maintain open and honest communication and are willing to share in the financial and caregiver responsibilities for a needy relative can successfully reside together in the same home. Support can and should be a two-way street. Where better to get the daily support that we all need than from our family!

Article from Caregiver.com.

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For Caregivers: Nourishing Holidays

December 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

Ah, “‘Tis the season….” But for many of us, it is another day of the same old thing, or, maybe worse, it is a time when there are even more expectations and responsibilities placed upon us than we usually face. May be they come from inside, or maybe they are expectations from others, none-the-less, the holiday season can be more burdensome than joyful for many of us.

Hopefully, you can make some time for yourself for inner reflection—Some time to consider things or people that you are grateful for and some things that you would like to do a little differently in your future. It may even be a little more important now that we are entering a new Millennium!

So, I invite you to consider your relationship with food! Some of you may scratch your head “Relationship” with food? I have relationships with people or pets, not food!” This may be true for the many of us who truly view food as a means of sustenance – You may know folks who truly don’t care what they eat and may even forget to eat, unless someone reminds them or prepares it for them. There are those of us, however, for whom foods, especially certain foods, seem to have a voice in our heads. It may sound like “I’m here waiting for you to eat me – please don’t leave me in this half empty bag (or container) in the dark all night” or “Oh, it’s the holidays and we both know I’m not good for you. Still, this once, just a little bit won’t hurt….”

As a nutritionist, I often speak to people about the nutrients and nutrition in the food they eat. I am growing in my understanding that there is a lot more to food than just the chemicals that make up the protein, fat, vitamins and minerals. In a book called Nourishing Wisdom, the author, Marc David, very nicely shows how the psychological and spiritual aspects of our lives affect how and if we are truly nurtured. In his book, Mr. David suggests that we need to experience food as a neutral thing – no “good” or “bad” food – and instead, listen to our bodies to know what to eat. The foods we humans eat are greatly influenced by our culture and psychology, rather than by instinct. Our bodies want, and need, different foods at different times. We prefer salads and light foods in the summer and soups and heavier foods during the colder, darker winter months. There may be times when we are happy or sad that we want a certain food, because it is familiar to us or associated with similar circumstances in our past.

At holiday times, we look forward to special foods. Why? For many of us, they remind of us happy times, special times and, perhaps, times when someone else was responsible for the cooking! These special foods have the capacity to nourish us in more ways than just giving us calories and vitamins and minerals. For each of us, we long to belong, to know we are important to someone or that we have made a difference in someone’s life. If, somehow, we are not sure of these things, we may turn to eating certain foods to feel comforted or to preparing foods for others to be sure we are needed and appreciated.

As we grow older, many of us are faced with chronic diseases like high blood pressure, heart disease or diabetes. We may find it harder to maintain our youthful figures… And still, each year the Holidays come around, luring us with their many treats, treats that often are not very healthy for us in the long run.

Instead of feeling compelled to eat one more cookie or sliver of pie, and then feel guilty about it, please consider this instead. Take a few seconds to ask yourself, “Am I really hungry for this? …How will I feel later, if I eat this now?” Or “Do I need it right this minute? Could I wait till later when I’m not so full?” It will just take a few seconds and it may save you from feeling bad for a lot longer later! And, as any thing new you try, you will forget sometimes. Do not worry about that! Celebrate the times you remember – Celebrate the times you remember to take care of yourself!

As you are shopping at the bakery or getting out your family’s favorite recipes full of butter and sugar, ask yourself, “How can I make this recipe a little healthier—and still taste good? What’s important here? Is it that we have the same foods that taste the same, or is it that we celebrate life and its many pleasures and treasures and challenges this past year has brought?” If that’s what the holidays are about, then it may not matter what foods are on the table, healthy or not. But it may matter, in the long run, if you feel good about yourself, because you know that taking care of your health and the health of your loved ones is a year round commitment.

 

Article from Today’s Caregiver.

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How to be a Parkinson’s Caregiver

November 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

As any caregiver knows, Parkinson’s disease is both chronic and progressive. It persists over a long period of time and the symptoms worsen.  Often the disease has been present for many years before active care even is necessary.  This fact alone can bring many challenges along the way.  A loved one secretly may have adapted their life to this condition, hiding any symptoms.

When the time for care arises, a caregiver first has to take inventory of what is working and what isn’t.  A caregiver may have believed their loved one was perfectly fine, and come to realize the truth is far from that. A caregiver for someone with Parkinson’s must be very organized, informed, patient and able to modify daily life to any situation that may arise.

In the latter stages, it’s important for a caregiver to take a step back and not become totally entrenched in the caregiving and uninvolved in their own life. Since Parkinson’s can persist for many years, by the time the latter stage arrives, a seasoned caregiver will be an “old pro.”

Managing Symptoms

There is no “across-the-board” standard for how Parkinson’s affects any given patient. Just as everyone is different, every person’s reaction will be unique. The most common symptoms are tremors, muscle stiffness and slow movement.  These symptoms intensify as the disease progresses and alone can cause problems in daily living activities. A caregiver must be constantly evaluating what condition their loved one is in. Parkinson’s is unpredictable and a loved one may be resistant to take assistance for as long as they can hold out. This makes caregiving more complicated. However, it is their caregiver’s responsibility to help keep them, above all, safe in any environment. One important tip is to initially ask a loved one what they need, and not assume. During the latter stages, a caregiver should be familiar enough to anticipate and prepare for a loved one’s needs.

In the latter stage of the disease, movement itself becomes nearly impossible. A simple task as dressing could take a person with Parkinson’s disease literally all day to accomplish. Walking is very slow, if at all. A lack of balance causes frequent falls and automatic movements, like the swinging of arms when walking, disappear.  A caregiver should try to not be frustrated, but instead, be patient, and respond with love and humor.

As the disease progresses, communication difficulties and heightened anxiety become more prevalent. In the early stages, a loved one is able to hide symptoms easily, but as the tremors and stiffness worsen, a joke about getting older may be a good cover-up for the fact that daily duties are becoming harder and harder to handle.

What can a caregiver do? Get help!

With a loved one in the advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease, it is nearly impossible to handle it alone. Whether in-home care or out-of-home, help is necessary.  Whether in-home or a permanent move, options are available for caregivers to find some relief.  There are many kinds of caregivers, from live-in spouses to long-distance children. No matter the caregiver, a support system is mandatory!

You, the Caregiver

The National Parkinson Foundation’s publication “Caring and Coping” divides caregivers into these categories:

  • Stage One: The Expectant Caregiver
  • Stage Two: The Freshman Caregiver
  • Stage Three: The Entrenched Caregiver
  • Stage Four: The Pragmatic Caregiver

The first two stages are filled with learning. Once a caregiver is entrenched, they are knowledgeable, prepared and “in the trenches.” A caregiver in Stage Three “gets it.” The final stage, the pragmatic caregiver, has been in the thick of it for more than five years and through it all. They know what works and what doesn’t. They see Parkinson’s disease as what is was and what it has become. They laugh at things other family members may find sensitive and painful. They have become practical, realistic and are also experiencing much personal growth.

In the latter stages of Parkinson’s, it may be hard for a caregiver to find happiness in the simple moments. The major joy-killers are the everyday tasks like bathing, dressing and toileting. It’s hard to remember who a loved one was as a person pre-advanced Parkinson’s. Sometimes taking a minute to tell jokes, share stories and enjoy a fun activity will bring back the feelings of father/son, mother/daughter or husband/wife, whatever the situation.

The National Parkinson’s Foundation tells caregivers to “hang onto your sense of self.” Regular activities and routines are also important to keep, as much as possible. Emotional and physical exhaustion will only lead to more exhaustion. Finally, a caregiver needs to see themselves beyond the car giving role. It’s essential to remember individual life goals, independent of the caregiving demands. A caregiver must take time to maintain social contacts and actually schedule respite time.

Paperwork

Paperwork can be overwhelming for the average person. For a caregiver of someone with Parkinson’s, it can be frustrating and time consuming. It’s easy to lose sight of the goal and just rush to complete the tasks. From applying for benefits to doctor’s visits and financial records, it’s a very big task to take on for any caregiver.

The National Parkinson Foundation suggests caregivers take a look at the situation as a whole, using a “big picture” approach. Seeing options as working together enables caregivers to make rational, educated decisions. This frame of mind is especially important when deciding legal, financial and medical decisions for a loved one.  Take a step back, a deep breath and proceed with an open mind. The first part of the “big picture” is honesty. Don’t falsify any information on any documents. It will lead to more headaches and hassle later on by causing others to question your credibility. You want a loved one to receive the benefits he is entitled to by law.

The Foundation explains that the second part of this is consistency. When helping a loved one apply for different benefits and medical support, a caregiver must keep in mind that many programs will require the exact same documentation. The main question will be: What is a loved one’s health status at any given point?  When preparing legal documents, this may be measured against different definitions, but it is important to be truthful and consistent.  Use the big-picture approach to see how a loved one’s benefits will all fit together and what gaps may need to be filled.

Day-to-Day

The unknowns of the day-to-day caregiving are probably the most stressful for caregivers. Having systems in place of organization and support will make these situations seem less overwhelming.

Adapting the home environment is one of the major tasks any caregiver must take on. Whether at a senior residence or the person’s personal home, small changes can be made to avoid big disasters. Living areas, kitchens and bathrooms can be adapted to help the decreasing cognitive and physical abilities of a loved one with Parkinson’s. Make sure there are open pathways around the home and remove obstacles and unsteady rugs, decorations, etc. that may cause an accident. Put grab bars in bathrooms and even along hallways. Designate hot or cold on faucets with labels and colored tape. Leave items at chest or waist height so reaching won’t cause falls.

In addition to changing the environment, a caregiver must be able to help with adjustments on daily tasks such as dressing, teeth brushing, showering, etc. Confusion and unsteadiness make these seemingly standard tasks challenging. Help a loved one understand what is going on and proceed slowly, with care and compassion.

A very common symptom of Parkinson’s is “freezing.”  Help a loved one move around easier by pretending they are walking over something, or rock very slowly back and forth to get moving again. Exercise, to any degree possible, is very important to a loved one’s health and well-being. Sitting around will only make their mind-set diminish, as well as the physical aspects.

Encourage activity, communication and involvement socially as much as possible. As the disease progresses, these things will become more and more challenging to do. It’s important a caregiver encourage it when a loved one still is able to be involved.

For caregiving in the latter stages of Parkinson’s disease, challenges will arise. A caregiver should plan ahead and anticipate problems. Have paperwork done and organized. Separate tasks into smaller, manageable parts to encourage independence. The trenches won’t seem so deep then!

Article from Caregiver.com.

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November is National Caregivers Month

November 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

“An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.”
– Unknown

During National Family Caregivers Month, we encourage you to take time for yourself. Explore some of these resources for support as you cope with the challenges of caring for your loved one.

National Alliance for Caregiving
AARP: Resources Caregivers Should Know About
US Department of Health & Human Services: Resources for Caregivers 
American Society on Aging: Organizations that Take Care of Caregivers
Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving

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Long-Distance Caregiving: Tips for Success

October 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

Know What You Need to Know

Experienced caregivers recommend that you learn as much as you can about your family member or friend’s illness, medicines, and resources that might be available. Information can help you understand what is going on, anticipate the course of an illness, prevent crises, and assist in healthcare management. It can also make talking with the doctor easier. Make sure at least one family member has written permission to receive medical and financial information. To the extent possible, one family member should handle conversations with all healthcare providers. Try putting all the vital information in one place—perhaps in a notebook or in a shared, secure online document. This includes all the important information about medical care, social services, contact numbers, financial issues, and so on. Make copies for other caregivers, and keep the information up to date.

Plan Your Visits

When visiting your loved one, you may feel that there is just too much to do in the time that you have. You can get more done and feel less stressed by talking to your family member or friend ahead of time and finding out what he or she would like to do. Also, check with the primary caregiver, if appropriate, to learn what he or she needs, such as handling some caregiving responsibilities while you are in town. This may help you set clear-cut and realistic goals for the visit. For instance, does your mother need to get some new winter clothes or visit another family member? Could your father use help fixing things around the house? Would you like to talk to your mother’s physician? Decide on the priorities and leave other tasks for another visit.

Remember to Actually Spend Time Visiting with Your Family Member

Try to make time to do things unrelated to being a caregiver. Maybe you could find a movie to watch with your relative, or plan a visit with old friends or other family members. Perhaps they would like to attend worship services. Offer to play a game of cards or a board game. Take a drive, or go to the library together. Finding a little bit of time to do something simple and relaxing can help everyone, and it builds more family memories. And keep in mind that your friend or relative is the focus of your trip—try to let outside distractions wait until you are home again.

Get in Touch, and Stay in Touch

Many families schedule conference calls with doctors, the assisted living facility team, or nursing home staff so several relatives can participate in one conversation and get up-to-date information about a relative’s health and progress. If your family member is in a nursing home, you can request occasional teleconferences with the facility’s staff. Sometimes a social worker is good to talk to for updates as well as for help in making decisions. You might also talk with a family member or friend in the community who can provide a realistic view of what is going on. In some cases, this will be your other parent. Don’t underestimate the value of a phone and email contact list. It is a simple way to keep everyone updated on your parents’ needs.

Help the Person Stay in Contact

For one family, having a private phone line installed in their father’s nursing home room allowed him to stay in touch. For another family, giving Grandma a cell phone (and then teaching her how to use it) gave everyone some peace of mind. These simple strategies can be a lifeline. But be prepared—you may find you are inundated with calls or text messages. It’s good to think in advance about a workable approach for coping with numerous calls.

Learn More About Caregiving

Whether you are the primary caregiver or a long-distance caregiver, getting some caregiving training can be helpful. As with a lot of things in life, many of us don’t automatically have a lot of caregiver skills. For example, training can teach you how to safely move someone from a bed to a chair, how to help someone bathe, and how to prevent and treat bed sores, as well as basic first aid. Information about training opportunities is available online. Some local chapters of the American Red Cross might offer courses, as do some nonprofit organizations focused on caregiving. Medicare and Medicaid will sometimes pay for this training.

Gather a List of Resources in the Care Recipient’s Neighborhood

Searching the Internet is a good way to start collecting resources. Check with a local library or senior center, the Area Agency on Aging, or the Eldercare Locator to find out about sources of help.

Information from Today’s Caregiver.

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Intimacy Issues & Parkinson’s

September 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

Warning: This article contains adult-themed issues and terms.

This article summarizes a presentation on sexual disfunction by Gila Bronner, MPH, MSW, CST, Director of Sex Therapy at the SHEBA Medical Center in Israel.

Jessica made an appointment with Gila Bronner, MPH, MSW, CST, a sex therapist, to discuss a specific issue: how could she address her husband’s drooling interfering with their sex life. Even though her husband was the one living with Parkinson’s disease (PD), some symptoms affected the both of them.

Intimacy issues and sexual dysfunction is a “couple problem.” It affects both partners. One person’s sexual dysfunction often results in the same effect in their partner. For example, when a man experiences a sexual dysfunction, his partner is more likely to experience sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction as well.

There is a high prevalence of sexual dysfunction in PD, with problems ranging from erectile dysfunction, reduced desire and frequency, vaginal dryness, orgasm difficulties and more. According to one study, people with PD rate sexual dysfunction in their top 12 most bothersome symptoms (Politis, et al., 2010). Another study cites that 41.9 percent of men and 28.2 percent of women cease sexual activity after being diagnosed with PD (Bronner, et al. 2004).

Sexual dysfunction in PD can be compounded by depression, anxiety, pain and movement-related symptoms, which can affect desire, erectile dysfunction and sexual satisfaction. Sexual dissatisfaction has been associated with movement symptoms in men, anxiety in women and depression in both genders.

As a sex therapist, Gila reminds her patients that it is important to remember that sexuality is not only about sex and orgasms; its emotional, non-sexual physical and intimate aspects play important parts. Intimate touch and sexual activity contribute to a better quality of life and health overall. They are associated with emotional and physical relaxation, better self-esteem, increased vitality and well-being, and closeness between partners.

The increase in oxytocin that comes from massage and touch can even reduce pain. Older people who continue to engage in sexual activity have better overall cognitive functioning (Hartmans, et al. 2014). Therapeutic touch has even been shown to decrease behavioral symptoms of dementia (Woods, et al. 2005).

There are many alternative intimate and sexual activities to treat sexual dysfunction, such as outercourse (other sexual activities besides sex), self-stimulation, non-demanding touch (relaxing and pleasant touch), open sexual communication, compensatory strategies and sexual aids, and erotic thoughts and fantasies.

Intimacy Tips from People with PD and Their Partners

  1. Plan sex for when movement symptoms are at a minimum.
  2. Apply oily lubricants to lessen the effects of tremor on skin.
  3. Use sexual aids.
  4. Plan positions in advance with minimized movements between positions.
  5. Use lubricants for penetration during intercourse, and be sure to read the lubricant’s instructions before you begin.
  6. Use satin sheets to ease movement.
  7. Perform intimacy training and erotic tasks.
  8. Reduce stress and burden on your partner.

“Remember that the right to share love, touch and intimate moments accompanies us along our life,” said Gila.

Information provided by PDF.

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Caregivers: Caregiving Issues Facing the Multi-Generational Family

September 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

There are many family situations today where you can find three, four or even five generations living under one roof. While the circumstances that result in multi-generational living vary from financial to health-related to simple family closeness, those who live in these types of households deal with many issues. Serving as the main caregiver for an older relative, dealing with grandchildren and having one of their own children living back at home after several years on his/her own can be a challenge for the best of families.

In dealing with your older relative, the most critical aspect is not just tending to their physical needs, but providing them with the emotional support they require as well. Often, it is coping with these emotional needs that is most time consuming and stressful. Family members often ask “How do I talk to my relative about. . . “(You fill in the blank.) The answer is “Not easily.”

Remember, your job is to help your older relative make informed, reasonable decisions for themselves, not to make the decision for them. It is also important to realize that they may be frightened about their overall condition, and that this frightened state is relayed through anger toward YOU, the main caregiver. It is crucial to keep the lines of communication open between the generations so that both of you can express your fears and concerns as honestly as possible. You may also wish to gain as much knowledge as possible regarding the older person’s condition so that you know what to expect of them now and in the future. In that way, you can let them maintain their sense of independence and well-being and provide the needed care when it becomes necessary.

Children, even at an early age, can be asked to take on family responsibilities. They can be very helpful and resourceful. They can perform everyday chores like cleaning and help in preparation of meals and laundry. They can also help Grandma or Grandpa by sitting with them, reading together or watching TV, among other things. By involving children, you are giving them an honest look into the daily caregiving process and you open the door to start a dialogue about aging issues in general.

The relationship between an older relative and a child is invaluable in that the older person provides educational and historical information that is passed on to another generation and the child can give new and fresh insight on things for the older person.

When an older relative begins to fail, either mentally or physically, it can be very confusing and sometimes frightening for a child. There are many resources geared specifically for children that explain the aging process. Children are seen as extremely therapeutic assets as families deal with the daily issues associated with the care of a relative.

Older relatives can also be an invaluable resource to their grandchildren. They can serve as educators, story tellers and, in many instances, serve as the primary providers of care to their grandchildren. Many older people end up “raising” their grandchildren due to a variety of circumstances. These older relatives struggle not only with the daily demands of care needed by their grandchildren, but also with the concerns and struggles that their own children (the grandchildren’s parents) face and their own health and financial issues.

Those who are in the “sandwich generation” often are faced with the daily demands of care needed by their parents or older relatives AND are responsible for the raising of their own children. In addition, they may have to deal with their own health and financial worries. Other responsibilities faced by this generation include the demands of a work schedule and their relationship with a spouse or significant other, in addition to their ongoing relationship with siblings and close friends.

Regardless of their age, there are many instances where the main caregiver in the family refuses to acknowledge that they can’t handle the load. They are too caught up in the daily grind that they don’t recognize the warning signals, which can include extreme fatigue, lack of rest, irritability, and frustration over lack of free time. Letting others know your feelings and that you need help is crucial to the caregiver’s mental and physical well-being.

It is also important to negotiate the exact roles of each family member in terms of providing care. Some may feel more comfortable with hands-on duties – others may want to only focus on household chores or helping with transportation or financial and legal issues.

There are many instances where the care receiver is very stubborn and resistant to any help, even from family members. In these cases you need to be FIRM in expressing the reality of the situation and that the person needs assistance. It is particularly important for those living in multi-generational households who often are providing 24 hours a day/7 days a week care to have an occasional respite break.

With family members living longer, many individuals are faced with the prospect of being a caregiver for a significant number of years. More and more families are opting to live in a mutli-generational household for a variety of reasons, including providing care for a loved one. It is important for the family to recognize that, in many cases, they will not be able to tend to all the needs of their relative, and that they will have to rely on others for occasional support. The support is available – just ask.

Information from Today’s Caregiver.

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Caregivers: Important discussion topics to have with your loved one

August 1, 2018 Caregivers, Life

A care partner is an essential, active participant with the person with Parkinson’s in their care. While most care partners are spouses, children, siblings, parents and even friends can all be considered care partners. As your loved one living with Parkinson’s becomes less independent and more reliant on your care, your role as a care partner transitions to caregiver.

As a care partner, you are an essential member of the care team supporting the person in your life living with Parkinson’s. Your role as a care partner will evolve over the years and asking questions will help you and your loved one have an ongoing conversation about how to best partner in care to encourage you both to live well.

Here are some important discussion topics to have with your loved one:

  • Communicate often with your loved one to help them understand and accept your concerns and desire to help and support them. Talk about how much you expect or wish to be involved in care. Care partners typically have the most frequent and ongoing involvement in the lives of people with Parkinson’s. This brings both benefits and challenges as you will often notice effects of Parkinson’s that your loved one may not be aware of. You may find yourself feeling frustrated as you encourage your loved one with Parkinson’s to do activities to help them live well that they may not necessarily want to do, such as exercising, speaking louder or attending an appointment with a healthcare professional.
  • Talk about how much you expect or wish to be involved in care. Transitioning from spouse, child, parent or even friend to care partner can change your relationship with your loved one with Parkinson’s. It is important to have discussions with your loved one with Parkinson’s and the rest of the care team about everyone’s expectations about your involvement in your loved one’s care and your relationship outside of serving as a care partner.
  • Set up rules or even agree on a “catch phrase” that your loved one with Parkinson’s can use to let you know when they feel that your guidance and encouragement may be feeling like nagging or too much pressure.
  • Speak up during medical appointments. You, as the care partner, are both significantly impacted by Parkinson’s and very familiar with the effects it has on your everyday lives. If your typical medical appointments focus only on the person with Parkinson’s, let the Parkinson’s healthcare provider know that you are an active member of the care team and will be contributing during the appointments as well. Writing down the three most important things that you would like your partner’s medical provider to address is another practical step to ensuring your concerns are heard by healthcare providers.

 

Information from Davis Phinney Foundation.

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